Jul 172018

This week we bid adieu to our most glorious loot piñata, Beltron the Shade King.  Proving yet again that the most powerful force for change in TLP is the <Occupy General Channel> guild of consummate professionals.  We managed, in our infinite developer influence, to get yet another decade-old zone changed.

You’re welcome, Coirnav.

Phinigel residents will rejoice in seeing 0.03% less serverwide notifications go out as we downsize our Frostcrypt splits from 3-4 instances, to a more reasonable 2.  Boy, it was a good run while it lasted.  28 Beltron kills in the 6 weeks since TSS launch.

Couple that with our successes in splitting final Lethar and you have a most impressive quantity of raid tier Chest and Legs, such that our alts are now bidding quantities of Dima Kill Points that we haven’t seen spent in a month by members.

The Buried Sea expansion is on the horizon and we’re preparing for the gauntlet that will be the very fast climax of the Level 75 era, making way for Secrets of Faydwer in October. This train has no brakes and the loots must flow but only if you’re signed up for twitter.

Speaking of signing up, this is a great time to apply to the best-worst named guild on Phinigel, the <Organic Grundle Company>.  We have immediate opening for people looking to trade their time for the best loot parties this side of Agnarr.  Here at OGC, we make’n it raaaaain!

May 292018

It’s from 1997, you probably haven’t heard of it.  Let me key it up in mumble for you…


Yeaaaaaaaaaaah. Let me tell you, there’s nothing like raiding to a soundtrack.  In between rocking out to such hits as Mmmbop and Achy Breaky Heart courtesy of resident guild pseudo-JackFM deejay Airez, we did some stuff this weekend.



We here at the <Origami Goulash Cryptobux> would like to thank our members for logging in and making this one of the most fun launches that many of us can remember.  Additionally, your humble narrator would like to thank the Greater Phinigel Server Community for agreeing that my call for civility at launch was the right move all along and allowing me to take credit for the relatively civilized and smooth cooperation between all the guilds on the server as we made our way through the tasks.  That was good of you all and you’re welcome for the out of the box approach that worked so much better than Stuffed-Full Relic Main Pick Poopsocks. (That’s my new experimental/prog rock bank name, don’t steal.)


We did so well, in fact that we earned an all-you-can-grind vacation to Depths of Darkhollow’s most luuuuuuxurious hardened secretion hotel and resort.  Just in time, too, for Daybreak to realize that dodging Russian Sanctions and deleting old press releases may keep them in business, but it ain’t keeping no lights on.  For that, you need Digital Funbux, and to drive sales you need bonus XP/Faction/Nameds weekends!

As if we here at <Overachieving Grumpy Cucks> weren’t winning hard enough already, Dear Leader saw fit to declare a People’s State Holiday commemorating our victory over not forgetting to pick up progression tasks before clearing Tier 1 raid targets.  The Great Doing-It-The-Right-Way Revolution will be brought to the E-guilds soon enough, comrades!  Let our victory over the Doing-It-The-Wrong-Ways spread the fires of the glorious People’s Revolution to all guilds.

Soon, brothers and sisters, they will Do-It-The-Right-Way.

Apr 252018

We here at the Gangster-Like Social Club for Law-Abiding Human Originals (it shortens to OGC in Russian somehow, sort of like how the USSR was Russia before Russia was colluding Russia; it’s very complicated) anyways… Here at the OGC we completed the second Plane of Deus Ex Machina expansion in second place on the server, having narrowly lost out on opening day flagging bottleneck, Nightshade.  Most Echoes of Elysium guilds would give up, go home, drink a beer, sulk, and try to stick the landing on the Nightshade repop in 72 +/- 12 hours, or, you know, we can form up at our usual scheduled raid time.. whenever we see him up… it’s not a big deal. really!

Not here, Sir!  No!

We here at the <Ongoing Guilty of Cheating> guild (as our super good, and friendly, and totally not at all carrying a 6 year grudge buddies like to refer to us) weren’t going to stand for any of that nonsense.  10 hours before Nightshade’s repop window was supposed to open (by even the most generous estimations) we packed into Relic like a discount hostel at Burning Man.  All throughout the 30 hour-long ~PorthioWatch 2018~ we kept the population of friendly coalition characters in Relic above the mandatory /pickzone cap.  This meant that we could effectively lock down the open world zone, as anyone who tried to zone in would be forced into a /pick instance, where Porthio and Nightshade couldn’t spawn.

Through vigilant attentiveness and dedication to the greatest of circa ~November of 2001 nostalgia trips~ (All-Hail the Glorious Boss Mob Poopsock!) we achieved what our wildly treasured bros could only dream of – We got our coalition the nightshade flags uncontested!  Oh, and we got 12 year old content patched and a shitty bottleneck removed!  (You’re welcome Coirnav!)

Of course, we can’t take full credit for our achievements. If it weren’t for the hilariously misanthropic adventures of The-GuildEntendreThat-Shall-NotEntendreBeEntendreNamed, we never would have been able to buddy up with our coalition partners and held down a fantastically successful launch week in the first place. -Nothing brings a server together like making sure the assholes get theirs.-

We look forward to further cooperation with our friends and coalition partners going forward.  For guilds interested in joining the coalition, we stand ready to accept you and welcome you as you are – no judgements. (Not even for the snowflakes – Hi Sixirym!)

Seriously though. People. It works better when we all work together on flagging bottlenecks. Reach out if you want to just cooperate next time and save everyone the hassle.

The siren song of Level 75 content is on the wind, and our farewell tour of the Level 70 era has been all sweet, no bitter.  We’ve recently welcomed back many old friends from Citizen, Modest Man, and OGC who stepped away over the last few years, and we’re in a Strong Hands® position to move into TSS competitively. If you’re stopping by to see what’s up and say hi, consider logging and and investing in the currency guild of the future!

Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday night cooperative growth conferences are held weekly.  There’s open/FFA (t)raiding each weekend through Omens of War and Dragons of Norrath content for those interested in mining blocks of loot-rewarding bosses. You too, can be gearing out your 9th shitbag alt with Defense (67) and an OMM Breastplate.

Other people can apply too if they want. Cool people do that. All the wordy blablabla is over there tf3g1ja

Under orders decoded from a white paper circulated around 2012 by the wise and mysterious Satoshi to HODL until May 23, the OGC will be performing regular Pump-and-Dump splits in Demi-Plane and Deathknell.  We can only go up! uP! UP! from here, so if you want to see your EQ experience go TO THE MOON!, apply to <Oригинал Γангстер Cоюз> today!